JUDGING OTHERS

To judge or not to judge, that is the question. The truth is that we all
judge others. When some idiot tells me not to judge them I have to laugh.
Because the only way they could know if I was in fact judging them would
be if they judged what I was saying and therefore judging me. But we all
judge others. Example.

We judge whether a school and it's people are right for our kids.

We judge the politicians running our governments.

We judge our partners as too whether or not they are faithful.

We judge people as to whether or not they are safe to bring into our
homes, or know our family, or our friends etc.

We judge whether a person can be trusted alone with our wife. husband,
kids, friends, etc.

We judge whether or not the driver of a car will stop in time when we want
to cross a street.

We judge how much we can or should trust another person.

We judge another persons honesty.

We judge if people are who they say they are.

We judge whether this or that person is the one we are looking for [if we
are single and looking for instance].

We judge cashiers as to whether or not they are giving us the right change.

We judge people by thier looks. Do they keep themselves well.

We judge people by thier speech. Are they articulate, smart etc.

We judge people by thier mannerisms. Are they a jerk or are they a lady
or gentleman.

We judge people by thier incomes. Like what type of job they have and/or
how much they make, or if they are on welfare etc.

We judge the young and the things they do like hairstyles or thier music
etc.

We judge people on first impressions.

We judge whether or not a person is good looking or sexy etc.

We judge whether or not a person is a good singer.

We judge whether and athelete is good at what they do. [football, soccer,
olympics, hockey etc.]

We judge everyone at some time or another.

The list is endless but I think I have hopefully made my point. I think a
better word for this might be 'discerning'. However it is not the judgement
that is the problem. It is how the other person feels about your judgement
call. If they are insecure and unhappy with who and what they are then
they will be very upset with you judging them. If on the other hand they
are secure within themself then they could care less about what you think
of them because your judgement does not affect them. The people that are
secure will ask people they love and trust for thier opinions, not others.
They could care less what people they do not know have to say about
them. But those who are insecure and do not like what they are will be the
first to scream "don't judge me". Proving thier own contraryness and
blindness as well.

Another problem I see with judging at times is not the judging itself but
the method by which a person judges. Example. If a person has been hurt
in the past and has not dealt with it and healed then they will assume
something automatically about another person and judge them from a
platform of prejudice. One thing I hear all too often is how men think
with thier brains in thier pants. This is not true of most of the men I know
of personally. Yet many women thinks this. This is a form of prejudice. So
if one starts from a position of prejudice then no amount of truth will
persuade them to think differently because they have no desire to think
truthfully having blinded themselves, on purpose, to the truth. In my last
relationship I was abused. This however does not mean that all women are
abusers. And because I was willing to forgive and heal I do not have that
prejudice that some others who have been abused have. Many abused
people love the spotlight they receive as a result of thier abuse. And as a
result refuse to heal and get better and so they stay sick and judge others
from a platform of abuse and prejudice, thereby abusing every one else
they meet by thier venom which they spew on others. And in the end
hurting more people then thier abuser ever could. And in "the name of
healing and just wanting to talk about it" the become worse then thier
abuser as well.

Another problem judging can have is where first you judge someone. Say
someone stole something and they admit it, ok so now they are a thief.
Fine no problem so far. But then you extend it and say they are and
always will be a thief. Well now you have jumped from judging what a
person is too sentancing them as well. Personally I do not think we should
condemn a person as long as they are alive and wanting to change. The
person that refuses change even in light of thier problem is another matter
all together. That person has chosen to condemn themselves.

So as you see judging is actually a good thing. So long as one does not do
it from a platform of prejudice and condemnation. If we did not judge we
would be called fools. And those that tell us not to judge them are asking
us to become fools. As for me, I would rather discern with wisdom then
become a fool for idiots that want to hurt me thank you.

So what does this have to do with D/s ? For the single person it means they
should judge the other person soley on them and not on past
relationships. Many men are judged from the same pot sadly. I have been
accused of many things simply because I am male. That is prejudice. So if
you are single and looking then be patient and take your time getting to
know someone. Ask around and see if anyone has met this person etc.
Judge thier words and see if they are speaking nonsense or not etc. Just
judge from a position of knowledge yourself by learning as much as you
can. And dominants the same thing. Many online submissives would faint
at the site of a real flogger in use. So make sure the one you are after
wants what you want and has at least seen pictures, videos, etc. of the
things you like. Use discernment [intelligent judging] when you meet
someone new that you think you like.

As for what this has to do with nonsingle D/s partners simply this. Do you
trust your submissive/dominant alone with another person or not? And do
you trust the other person or not? I have seen too many cases where a sub
had to constantly ask for permission to see friends. The dominant was
obviously very insecure and did not trust thier submmissve and/or the
submissives friend. I was told by one submissive she only had to ask her
dominant because I am a dominant. Now THATS pretty heavy handed
prejudice. The only reason I can not be trusted is because I am a
dominant. How pathetically sad is that eh? Or a submissive fretting over
thier dominant meeting other people. The submissive shows they do not
trust thier dominant or the dominants friend or both. If you trust your
partner then prove it. Otherwise you show how truly insecure you are. And
if you are that insecure you should look as to why you are. Maybe you
need help. And if your partner is that loose then maybe it is time you left
then. So either you trust them or you don't. You be the judge. If you trust
your partner they will be more then happy to say whether the other person
was acting in an inappropriate manner or not. Again you be the judge.

I also hope you have judged me here as well. For instance. Do you judge
whether or not I am typing truth or nonsense? You see? You have just
judged me.

SUMMATION: So go ahead and judge others. Just do it from a position
of intelligence rather then prejudice, condemnation or insecurity. And
remember, only those that want to fool you will tell you not to judge them
but instead want you to be a fool. Just laugh at them as I do. Knowing
that in order for them to say that they have to judge you to do it.