Collaring is the term commonly used by those in the D/s community to describe a relationship

between a Dominant and a submissive. ALL collars demand respect from both Dominants and

submissives in the community, B/both T/those IN the relationship.. and T/those outside of it. A

collar is not given lightly, nor should it be.



The collar, ANY collar, means that the submissive is off-limits and no longer available to serve

others except under the direction of her/his dominant. Any dominant who pursues a collared

submissive will risk serious damage to his/her reputation. It is an extreme breach of protocol.



CONSIDERATION COLLAR (signifies Ownership)







The first collar offered is called the 'Collar of Consideration'. This identification comes from the

Old Guard Leather community, the same source of the Safe, Sane and Consensual code. This

Collar is traditionally given at the very beginning of a potential relationship.



The Dominant by offering this collar to the submissive is expressing an interest in pursuing a

potential furthering of a relationship with that submissive beyond the range of a casual

acquaintance or even the relationship between a Top and bottom. This collar is offered seriously

and with intent. The submissive in accepting this collar from the Dominant is equally serious in

their understanding that their relationship has moved into a different stage. The existence of the

Collar of Consideration indicates to other Dominant's and submissives that the Dominant and

submissive are forming a potentially serious relationship. It's existence acts to openly present to

other Dominant's that this submissive is 'off-limits' for the duration of the 'consideration' period

and that honorable Dominant's should not pursue this submissive in any manner.



The 'Collar of Consideration' does not indicate a lifelong commitment between the Dominant and

submissive but might be better considered to be similar to a pre-engagement ring.



Should either Dominant or submissive decide after a period of time that the relationship or

connection is not to T/their desire then E/either may politely withdraw from the offer or the

acceptance with "no fault" to either side.



If a submissive is uncollared then it is considered important for that submissive to physically

remove the collar and place it within the hands of the Dominant personally. If extensive attempts

have been made to do so unsuccessfully then and only then should the submissive retain the

collar.



In other words the collar is the property of the Dominant. It should be purchased, acquired or

made by the Dominant, for the Dominant. Upon the severance of the relationship it should be

rightfully returned to it's owner. Objects given as gifts to the submissive should be clearly defined

as becoming the submissives property and not expected to be returned should the relationship

end. To keep the collar is considered to be extremely disrespectful.



The Consideration Collar



In msn.com D/s chat rooms this collar is signified by _c ie:

Dominant'sName<SUB'SNAME_C>



FULL, FORMAL or TOTAL (signifies Ownership)







The Formal Collar (also called a Permanent Collar or Slave Collar) is presented by a dominant

as a symbol of the bond with his submissive, representing commitment, love, honor and respect.

In the BDSM community it is equivalent to a wedding ring and often is given in conjunction with

a legal marriage proposal and/or the decision to live together as partners. A submissive's

acceptance of this collar indicates her commitment, trust and devotion to her complete

submission to the dominant.



The Formal Collar is usually presented in a ceremony witnessed by friends, much like a wedding

ceremony with exchanged vows, favorite poems, etc. It sometimes includes a permanent mark

on the submissive such as a tattoo or piercing (a popular one is the clitoral hood piercing) that is

occasionally made a part of the ceremony.



The Formal, Full or Slave Collar



In msn.com D/s chat rooms this collar is signified as a collar sans identifiers [_c, _p or _t ie:

Dominant'sName<SUB'SNAME>



TRAINING (may or may NOT signify Ownership)







There are two different reasons a training collar may be used:



<DIR> <DIR>



as a symbol of the desire to further or deepen the relationship or,



for the training of a submissive for a limited time.



</DIR></DIR>



Depending on the reason it is given, it can be a prelude to a Formal Collar (1) or can be end in

itself (2). When a dominant and submissive enter into this kind of agreement, a contract is often

negotiated which outlines specific expectations and a time duration. This is typically a period in

which the relationship becomes more formalized, with specific commitments to what will be

taught and learned, i.e. positions, public and private behavior, serving, any specific tasks

required by the dominant, etc., as well as disciplinary consequences.



In the case where this agreement is entered into for a limited amount of time for the sole purpose

of training, the emotional attachment is limited or even non-existent. Sometimes it is entered into

by a submissive wishing to learn skills in order to take them into a future relationship with a

dominant or perhaps to explore her desires to find out if this is the lifestyle for her. Sometimes a

very experienced dominant will train an inexperienced submissive for her existing, but

inexperienced, partner while he is being mentored by that, or another, dominant.



The more common scenario is the first one above, where a relationship between a dominant and

submissive is deepening and they wish to move to a more committed level. In this case, the

training collar can be considered equivalent to an engagement ring. To the community, it

indicates a deeper commitment and bonding. During this time the dominant will have greater

expectations, often becoming more strict and possibly severe, and the submissive assuming

greater responsibilities in her behavior and protocol, with her actions reflecting her commitment

to the dominant. This training period can be intense for both submissive and dominant and often

will "make or break" the relationship.



Collars: Taining: Etiquette in Formal Training

Training Collar



In msn.com D/s chat rooms this collar is signified by _t ie: Dominant'sName<SUB'SNAME_T>



PROTECTIVE (does NOT signify Ownership)







This is a collar worn by a new submissive at public events to denote that s/he is under the

protection of a dominant so s/he can comfortably enjoy the event and socialize without being

continuously "hit on". Often a dominant will take a new submissive who is unsure of him/herself

under His/Her wing and keep an eye on him/her. The collar is a sign to other dominants that s/he

is under the care of another and that any approaches or negotiations should be made through

Her/Him.



There is no relationship otherwise implied, the Dominant is NOT the submissive's Master or

Mistress and the protection collar is returned to the Dominant at the end of the event.



Online.. no one can protect a submissive except him or her self, therefore the Protective Collar is

given by a Dominant to a submissive, usually to pretect him/her against "him/herself". ie: a

submissive can NOT enter into courtship or play with other Dominants without his/her

Protector's permission